There was no reason to go anywhere as there was nobody to tell afterwards. It also seemed all my motivation had gone. I was all lopsided and broken without her. My whole character had evolved to be half of this entity that was us. Socially, we’d been very much a double-act. It was my only comfort, to imagine her still by my side, as ever, yearning, as on one of our day-long meanderings of old. I walked the country fields and city streets endlessly, talking to her spirit. I didn’t know you could cry that much for that long, all day, every day, for months and months before it reduced at all. We’d climbed echelons together and had our days in the limelight but ultimately had each seen much disappointment and betrayal when we’d hoped, and invested time in others and the wider world.Īfter her incomprehensible death I had much to do so soldiered on, as you do, shell shocked, in deep inconsolable, endless anguish. We were twin souls with a shared history and view and, as we’d grown older, we’d been each others only friend. She’d been my best friend and we’d done much on our own together in strange and lonesome places as my dad had travelled us round the world with his work when we were young. I then had to tell my poor old mam and dad and everybody else. They left me alone to enact that by physically removing her breathing tube and watching while she slowly died. I stayed in the hospital two weeks by her unconscious body and had to deal with ending her life support when they said there was no possible chance of a meaningful recovery. Her struggle was unnoticed as she spiraled down and tragically died, still a great beauty aged 45. She had been married with two fine teenage children when life started to go wrong and a tragic chain of events had left her isolated in a small unfriendly market town. She was a person who lit up rooms, immensely charismatic and funny and capable. I was exceptionally close to my only sister and she died age 45 ten years ago. The quotes and comments here have helped me feel less alone. Susan Dryden Henderson Januat 10:48 pm Reply So I’m just left here, alive, a fraction of who I once was. She’s dead and so is the part of myself that I gave to her, I know that nothing will ever fill that missing piece again. I didn’t even know I could feel like this. I’ve lost 2 of my best friends before and my Uncle who was like a father to me growing up but this…. I feel like I’m not allowing myself to fully come to terms with it because I’m not strong enough to handle a loss like this. I haven’t slept a wink, every day is like I’m in a fog. There’s this nearly unbearable pressure in my chest, I’ve been perpetually on the verge of tears since I heard the news but I haven’t been able to truly and honestly cry. Now she’s gone and honestly I’m still kind of in shock. She was my twin flame, I have no doubts about that. No matter how bad any fight got, we came out the other side stronger. Even during the darkest hours of our relationship (and trust me they were DARK) there was never a time when we let the situation make us lose sight of the love and companionship we had.

She showed me strengths and weaknesses I could have never imagined I had, and helped me learn to improve on them. We helped each other grow and learn both as a couple and as individuals. I can’t even put into words how remarkable and beautiful she was. We’d only been together for 4 years but in that time she’d shown me what unconditional love truly felt like. 3 days ago on April 18th I suddenly lost my fiancee. These were somehow both comforting and heart wrenching to read. Sometimes I just want to sleep and go away somewhere far and start over but that still wouldn’t solve the aching hole I have in my heart and life. I feel like the world just keeps passing by and I can’t catch the train to continue on this journey. I’ve lost grandparents/friends and other family members but there is just something about losing your mom and dad almost together. My heart now understands what “grief” really is. I am also angry that they passed from Covid as others I have read about. Just celebrated Mother’s Day (1st without my mom) tough.

It seems like it never goes away or gets easier. I actually lost my sister (not physically), but as a family member per her request. It is May and I am still having a hard time. Mom passed on Saturday, August 21, dad passed the following Sunday, August 29, 2022. I lost both parents last August 2022 8 days apart due to Covid.

Dealing with life changes quotes